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Barely Holding On

by Ryan Douglas

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1.
The engine was still running, I could feel that feeling coming Freedom’s fever taking me away Through the window cold air blowing, come to break that fever growing Where you are is where I want to stay Here’s a toast To everything we own or never had Whether it was good or it was bad To the memories that were never made Even as the ones we have begin to fade And here’s to love, to what we need the most When I was young with time to dream when I could make a young thing scream I thought that this would last forever Now my day’s spent just getting by, living out the moments ‘til I die I thought that being older it would be better Here’s a toast To everything we own or never had Whether it was good or it was bad To the memories that were never made Even as the ones we have begin to fade And here’s to love, to what we need the most Now everything comes with a price, every gain is shadowed by a loss So play your hand or roll the dice, but you better pray you have enough to pay the cost Here’s a toast To everything we own or never had Whether it was good or it was bad To the memories that were never made Even as the ones we have begin to fade And here’s to love, to what we need the most
2.
I’m on fire today, sunshine burning through the gray A chance to make it new; this time to follow through I’m on fire for you You are glowing tonight – a firework of bursting light It’s in your shining eyes, if you could see ‘em you’d see why Yeah, you light up my sky I used to wonder if anyone could feel this way Not just in movies or fairy tales But I can tell you that this feeling won’t go away Oh no, my love is here to stay I am falling for you in that daze where love is new All I have to do is think of you when I am blue I am falling for you You are falling for me – your heart flutters spinning free Across this lover’s sea where we are meant to be Where you are falling for me I used to wonder if anyone could feel this way Not just in movies or fairy tales But I can tell you that this feeling won’t go away Oh no, my love is here to stay I’m on fire tonight, a shooting star I’m burning bright And when the night is through, each day is just like new ‘Cause I’m on fire for you
3.
So let me in, your dreams aren’t what they used to be I’ll be your friend in this club we’re sworn to secrecy Fight the hours til the sundown sends us home to bed We can’t leave until the bad guys are all dead Here I come to save the day In this comic tragedy And it looks like the rain is here to stay So here I come to save the day But now I’m gone It’s been awhile, the lines of time have crept upon your face But I don’t mind cause I’m dreaming of another place Embrace the hours til the daybreak sends me off again But I can’t leave until you’ve felt the fullness of this love I have for you Here I come to save the day In this comic tragedy And it looks like the rain is here to stay So here I come to save the day But now I’m gone La da da, la di da Forget the hours we don’t have to march the beat of time We can never leave until I am yours and you are mine Here I come to save the day In this comic tragedy And it looks like the rain is here to stay So here I come to save the day But now I’m gone
4.
When all of your ambition has dried up And your head hangs weighed down By the burden you’ve built up With the spirit of an old, old man though you’re young Takes all you’ve got just to get out of bed Cause this life has been drained of the fun When you’re down to the end of your rope At the knot you’ve tied just to hold on With your hand slipping faster than your hope --- just let go When you’re lonesome in the e --- ndless night Though she’s gone, you still dream of her In cold sweats and shaking for morning’s light When you’re aching, for her loving and tender touch You hug the air where she used to sleep How the heartbreak, it hurts so much When you’re down to the end of your rope At the knot you’ve tied just to hold on With your hand slipping faster than your hope --- just let go Coda: There’s always tomorrow Yeah, there’s always tomorrow Trust me when I say, just let go of today Cause there’s always tomorrow
5.
I know you’re thinking heaven’s roads are paved with fool’s gold But you are hurting; the winds of life are blowing hard and cold Well don’t you worry; a shelter from the storm is not too far And I am closer than the winds that sting you where you are I will find you in the valley of despair I will lead you up the mountain out of there I will show you the height of hope to where I will carry you I know you’re thinking ain’t no cross can bridge this great divide But you’ve been burned and turned around, used and abused by those who’ve lied Well don’t you give up; I see you leaning closer to the edge Just take a step back and reach your hand to me instead I will find you in the valley of despair I will lead you up the mountain out of there I will show you the height of hope to where I will carry you
6.
Can I save you my darling Now damsel don’t distress Don’t push me away from you In a silent protest In every movement is danger Passing just out of sight Afraid something will get you When you’re already dying of fright Don’t be scared Come into my arms Rest assured There will be no harm The tongue is a fire Spreading gasoline lies It is forked like a serpent’s Urging fools to believe they are wise So don’t listen dear child When poisoned words come your way Turn a deaf ear and run home They won’t follow an unwilling prey Don’t be scared Come into my arms Rest assured There will be no harm Shadows fall all about this valley Whispering fears in the wind through the trees But don’t fear I am near; I’ll restore your soul And I’ll fill your cup ‘til it overflows I will save you my darling I will save you dear child Though the ways of this world are passing Under this setting sun My promise has just begun
7.
The wind rustling, leaves cracking and Twigs snapping as my feet carry me home I can’t remember when I last heard your voice Old memories are somehow leading me now I’m barely holding on I went my separate way, childhood pushed aside Phone calls never made – I should have dropped you a line The tide was pulling me out to the open sea I was drifting here and there headed to God knows where I’m barely holding on In a dream I saw your face and I felt so lost inside I can taste the sweetness of that place; how could I ever leave it behind, so far behind? With every closing step, new life rising up I hope I make it safe; I pray you welcome me in Will you welcome me in? I’m barely holding on
8.
With you it’s never me against the world I’m not alone in bearing every insult hurled When life’s a desert dry and cracked with rust You will never leave me thirsty in the dust Your voice echoes in my mind Your eyes give light to what I see Your heart and soul the glue that binds Together everything that makes me Oh child, give me your brightest smile But remember it’s your heart that gives you style For while the icing should look amazing It’s the essence of the cake that’s worth the tasting Your blood is in my veins Your spirit flows like winds across my plains You always know just when to pull the reins Or when to fuel the engines of my train Your voice echoes in my mind Your eyes give light to what I see Your heart and soul the glue that binds Together everything that makes me Though we never know what life may have in store Your marrow is a strength within my bones Like a balm that seeps in every open pore Your love will always smooth life’s jagged stones When everything feels like it’s going wrong Your words give me hope to carry on When all my doubts hit me like a tidal wave I know you’re with me from the cradle to the grave [Interlude] Your blood is in my veins Your spirit flows like winds across my plains You always know just when to pull the reins Or when to fuel the engines of my train Your voice echoes in my mind Your eyes give light to what I see Your heart and soul the glue that binds Together everything that makes me
9.
These Things 04:21
Lay your hand across the water See the waves calm down The thunderclouds they disappear There’s a peace in this silent sound And I’m walking toward the master’s call Only my fear will let me fall These things I don’t understand They are not of this world These things I can’t understand These things are not of man Talk of murder and betrayal Evil passing from love’s lips My own lips burn with rage and hurt How can I stand for this? So I’m fighting off the master’s plan Where do I make my stand? These things I don’t understand They are not of this world These things I can’t understand These things are not of man I thought I was the first to have ears to hear and eyes to see But still I do not have the mind I thought I understood just what you came to be But have I come all this way just to deny These things I don’t understand They are not of this world These things I can’t understand These things are not of man
10.
Put my heart on ice I can’t love you - - - God knows I’ve tried Just let my blood run cold To freeze all the tears in my eyes I can’t watch you go In all the time we had There must be more good than bad But somehow we’re just not right So I’m putting my heart on ice Hide your face away Your eyes cut through me - - - what words can’t say I gotta stop the bleeding, oh-oh All the love you gave is runnin’ through my veins Don’t wanna let you go In all the time we had There must be more good than bad But somehow we’re just not right So I’m putting my heart on ice Oh --- oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
11.
Old friend why don’t you come around no more Are you running out of stories to tell? You know I’ve heard that one before Don’t want to waste another day on me ‘Cause my time has run out Now I’m just another story I’m just another story Hey girl, this bed is getting lonely Are you giving up on love, love? Don’t say you’re trying to set me free Don’t want to waste another day on me ‘Cause this love has run out Now I’m just another heartache I’m just another heartache And the world it moves around me While I’m here standing still And the next train’s already leaving It disappears over the hill Dead man, where are the widows grieving? Are you buried here alone? I cannot answer from the grave No one can waste another day on me ‘Cause my days have run out No one even knows my name No one remembers
12.
Back Around 04:42
Took a walk and I never came home Mama, you’ll never know where I’ve gone next Got no ticket so I hopped a train Gotta get away from this town; it’s hexed Gotta get away from these faces I’ve seen too many times Gotta get away from where I’ve been for too long Gotta get away from this one stoplight town Ooh yeah, I gotta get away from home Train took me to the city I looked around so I could see the life Baby, it ain’t like the cinemas Where everything turns itself out just right Still gotta get away from the faces I’ve seen so many times Gotta get away from where I’ve been for too long Gotta get away from those one stoplight towns Ooh yeah, still gotta get away from home (from home) Gotta get myself to a place with just a radio Let that sweet, sweet music come and soothe my soul Gotta find that crystal stream flowing down from the mountain crest Breathe the air up in God’s country, out past the great, big, rolling Midwest Now Montana’s big sky country But it sure does get real cold up there at night So I fry some potatoes from Idaho But I just can’t shake this feeling I’m right back home Gotta get away from the faces I’ve seen so many times Gotta get away from where I’ve been for too long Gotta get away from these one stoplight towns Ooh yeah, I gotta get away from home (from home) Now Mama cries nearly every night she’s alone She sends out a letter to God knows where All it says is Baby, come home

about

This collection of songs spans hope and heartache, regrets and redemption, getting lost but finding your way back home again. If you find yourself barely holding on, let these songs be an encouraging friend. All is never lost - love and hope are alive.

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released August 22, 2016

Mixing & mastering by Bill Sjulin at Swede Spot Studio in Cincinnati, OH
Design and photography by Linda Foster

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Ryan Douglas Cincinnati, Ohio

Variety is the spice of life and Ryan Douglas gives you plenty of spice, crafting songs rich in textures and grooves that stand outside of genre.

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